The Fashion Designer and the Professional Gambler

Our aspiring fashion designer is keeping herself busy these days on handmade doll clothes. She uses a broad array of materials--brads, ribbons, cut up socks and shirts and rubber bands. Her sense of aesthetics is amazing to me, and I am reminded of a host of people in my life who have also possessed this quality, so mysterious yet appealing: Kimberly, Rachelle, Brooke, Vanessa, Holley. You who have the ability to squint your eyes at an outfit and know exactly what it needs or to choose something from a sale rack in a boutique that is still fabulous years later or even as we sat playing with our babies and you put stackable cups in color combinations to find the most striking. I could have done without the flying nun stage in high school, but I do appreciate the subtle art of beating my unruly locks into shape with what seemed to me to be excessive use of product. I can still remember the tongue lashing I received on my wedding day: "I told you not to over-condition your hair!" It is funny to see a quality in a child that you yourself do not possess. She is sometimes reduced to tears because her clothes don't fit right, and she has several ways of correcting the problems (after pointed attempts at centering herself and moving on from her inadequate wardrobe)--usually involving putting ponytail holders in small sections of her pants to make them tighter. Her ability to do hair is amazing--her friends bring her their dolls so she can do braids or up-dos the envy of the doll stylists at American Girl Doll Place. Mentors abound in the realm of handiwork, I am definitely in the minority of my friends who do not knit or embroider or sew or otherwise create pretty much anything by hand. In fact, I am really and truly embarrassed to admit this, but if anything needs sewing in our house, it waits in a little pile on my husband's drawer, and he is the one who tends to it. Santa might take a leap and consider a sewing machine for this little one who hums away the hours massaging scraps into shapes that please her (and her dolls). I'm not worried, she is great with instructions and since I won't have a clue, I am sure she can figure out how to use it by the manual.
And then there is the Card Shark. Jonah is spending his days in highly competitive games of Mancala, Backgammon, Chess, Spite and Malice, Sorry. Trouble is, all of his preferred activities involve other participants--and he is most happy to play, say, 10 or 15 games in a row. As soon as his turn is over he says "Is it my turn yet?" and he is quick to correct newcomers to the rules. He loses patience with his sister, who can't stay focused on the game or can't remember the rules...she generally finds something to build or create much more appealing than a game with a set outcome. He is becoming a better sport at losing, but if he has a string of bad luck or loses too many in a row he has trouble mastering his emotions. Interestingly, he doesn't lose all that often--he has a shrewd sense of competition and focus well beyond his years. As soon as the game (or games as the case may be) are over, he says "I'm bored, there's nothing to do." This one is hard to keep busy unless there is someone devoted to the task. Sometimes, if you go and do something else when he wants you to play another game, you might find yourself being shot with bows and arrows from around the corner, or at least hear whispered spells as you see the tip of a wand waving in the air. Increasingly, he is also getting into computer games. We have mixed feelings about this--as a former Ms. Pac Man enthusiast I understand the appeal, but I also know that addictive feeling when you can't stop thinking about beating your previous score and it is scary to consider the amount of time that can lapse with your brain locked in some screen staring void that closes out the real world. Jonah doesn't know about Gameboys or other gaming devices yet, nor about games you actually buy or the more serious online games. So shhhhh, don't tell him. He is a master at managing our Netflix account though. Santa is still trying to figure out what to do with this one. Something that absorbs, takes a while, can be done independently. Legos? More pieces for the Plan Toys road system?
Trouble is, how to keep a nearly 5 year old boy busy when the only thing that sticks is nearly constant interaction with others, who, frankly, sometimes need a break (enter computer). True he spends lots of time in physical things--batting balloons around, playing soccer with the dog, wrestling, shooting bow and arrows, playing catch...And the two play together a lot--mostly Harry Potter, Dolls or Playmobils, and mostly the "stage" is built by Maya and Jonah does the action. He paces until she finishes putting everything together because he is just not a builder, but he does enjoy bringing figures to life--talking for them, acting for them, moving them around.
Their differences are substantial, yet they find common ground every day, and it is so fun to watch how they work with each other's personalities. They split along traditional gender lines, for the most part, except for Jonah's love of the color pink and Maya's skill in building things.