Thursday, March 24, 2011

The Circus

No, that's not the circus we went to, but the circus that is our existence. In a good way, but, well, you know. Today's inspiration to post comes from my conversation with my sister, who is getting ready to bring home 3 children that she is adopting from Ethiopia. If you haven't already, check out her blog here. Right now there are photos about her kitchen that she is remodeling, but her beautiful blog is mostly about her journey along the adoption process.
So, my sister and I have lived very different lives for the past twelve years--from my perspective, hers has seemed exciting, worldly and professional. She has lived in three different states, remodeled several homes, worked and traveled and created lovely things (she is a graphic designer). I'm not sure what my life has looked like from her view, but I must admit that sometimes I'm sure it doesn't look all that sexy.
To illustrate that point, let me go back a few years to when a college friend of mine was visiting and she noticed Jonah's duvet cover...
She: "Kristin!"
Me: "What?"
She: "Isn't that the duvet cover you used in college?"
Me: "Ummmm, yeah?"
She: (opens eyes really wide and makes a nondescript grunting sound)
Me: (fingering the huge rip and tugging on the bottom to get it to cover the comforter underneath--I had never gotten around to putting buttons on it, so it was open at the bottom)
Perhaps this doesn't mean much to you, but it was the first time I had noticed that my childrens' rooms were the only ones that weren't "decorated" specifically for them. I lived in the suburbs for most of my married life (except for the 5 months that I was traveling around the world by bicycle and didn't have an address). OK, I take that back, there was one point, when Maya was a baby that she had painted walls. They were only painted because my sister was visiting and she helped me paint them. I guess things matched, I had several friends who worked for Pottery Barn at the time and I bought a lot of cute fixtures and shelves...but that lasted only a couple of years, until we moved and nothing was ever painted or matched again.
I visited my sister when I flew with the kids to the west coast. Her house is stunning. Seriously. Really, really lovely. And now even more so with this beautiful kitchen. The room I stayed in was simple and spare, crisp white bed linens and nice fixtures, and her usual good taste. She mentioned getting new linens for the boys' beds, and that is what made me think about this whole post. I was just comparing her buying new linens to replace beautiful ones to my own (disinterest? lack of money? horrible sense of style?) procrastination of 15 years in such a matter.
Sigh.
Sometimes it feels that we live like college students. Our things have slowly been worn out by use, and our belongings now are disproportionately childrens' things. Books, art supplies, craft kits, lots and lots of games and puzzles, bean bags, little cars, dolls and sports gear. We are outnumbered by the little people, and while it is satisfying and fun, it is sometimes a circus.
Tonight I was trying to help Maya with a science project--she is researching diapers to learn about the materials that make them up, and she has to do a presentation tomorrow to her science class. She has been cutting up a pack of newborn diapers and there are piles of absorbent gel, diaper fluff and layers of fabric lying around. Simon was alternately eating sugar from a bowl on the counter and then rubbing lip balms over his cheeks and chin, and Jonah was belting out Annie songs and pretending to hit himself on the head and falling over to make Simon laugh. Periodically, I had to jump up and go get Simon's potty. We found out that the gel Maya has been wallowing in from the middle of the diapers can sometimes be toxic, so then she's jumping around waving her hands and moaning that she's going to die! Then Jonah gets his Nerf guns and starts firing darts everywhere. Meanwhile, we just discovered that our best internet article about diapers in other cultures is from a website intended for adults who have infantilism--that is--diaper fetishes! OK, excellent. Do we add that to her bibliography? Oh my, I'm so horrified.
So, when I compare this scene, including the full potty in the living room that I haven't dumped yet, to what I picture to be my sister's scene--maybe a glass of wine, some nice music and a design Chautauqua with another quiet adult to decide how the next renovation or redecorating project is going to look including beautiful magazines that don't have the pages ripped out for collages...
Maybe we are so entertaining that we don't need matching linens or style in our domicile? Hmmm, I'm thinking we aren't so much entertaining as overwhelming, but oh well, who doesn't love the circus?

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

I love, and understand, your circus. :)