"Ummmm, Mom? I need to go...

to the bafroom!"
In our old residence, this sentence spoken by a child generally didn't cause more than a sigh of inconvenience. But in New York? Depending on our location can cause heart palpitations and frantic wanderings. Take the other day, in the post office. Jonah's hand is glued to his crotch and he starts the one-footed bouncing. Then the other foot, then he starts pacing and losing track of the make believe game he was playing. OK, there has to be one close, I think, as I ask a mom waiting in line with her three kids in tow. No, she says, there aren't any bathrooms anywhere near here. Someone else in line confirms that it is my boy and not my girl that needs to go and says "Just have him go in the street--no problem." I'm sorry, but I just don't like that idea. We hit the street, me thinking quickly, trying to judge how long it would take us to walk all the way back to the library or head home first. Suddenly I spot a Washington Mutual at the end of the block. Oh, I have a WAMU account! So we go in and I wait in line to "verify my address change actually went through" and buy a roll of quarters for the dryers. After I officially have been a customer, I say casually "Oh, would it be possible for my son to use your restroom?" Hmmm, they have to think about it. But I am lucky this time, and they concede. It is a gorgeous bathroom. Maybe the cleanest I have been in in months. It is even heavily air conditioned, there are paper towels, and we all relax.
Bathroom stories in NY don't always end this way. A stroll through Central Park frequently reveals mothers hiding desperately behind a too-narrow tree with a toddler, trying to coax them to poop in a plastic bag or pee discretely. I have seen adults, and not even homeless ones, peeing behind some bushes where they don't think anyone can see them. Several Port-A-Potties we have seen in the park we have had to turn down--due to dramatic overfilling verging on a health hazard. I would rather crap my pants than use one of those, says my children, although not quite in the same words. Public stores, struggling to pay high rents, tend to use their bathrooms for extra storage or are otherwise cutting corners by not modernizing or making them up to code for customers. I have been in restrooms here that are so crowded that you can literally barely sit on the toilet. If it weren't for the kids, I doubt any of these shop owners would let us use their toilet at all, but how can you say no to the panicked look in kid's eye? Nevermind that the last time we were at a bathroom they said they "didn't need to go".
Today we were right in the middle of the park when I heard the call. We had to walk a ways, but as is sometimes the case when we are looking for a bathroom we find other cool things. Like today we walked by the line for the Shakespeare in the Park tickets. Oh, so that's where you get the tickets. I'll remember that.
There are even websites about clean bathrooms. Hmmm, need to keep this in my back pocket. If you are ever visiting NY and you are in a store or restaurant that has a great bathroom, by all means, use it! Even if you don't really need to go. You'll be happy later on.